Mindset Can Change Everything

fridgeI recall feeling so very sorry for myself in the months after my divorce. I lost my job at the same time as my ex left: funding for a contract that had been renewed over a number of years suddenly dried up and I found myself in the terrifying position of being an unemployed single-parent. I lived in Quebec City and jobs for English speakers were not terribly plentiful: my French was very good, but not good enough for most French speakers to want to hire me. I couldn’t imagine how I was ever going to be able to care for myself, let alone two small children.

I felt alone. I felt abandoned. I felt poor. I was terrified.

My best friend told me two things:

  • My name was ‘in her pot’ for as long as I needed. I (and my kids) would never go hungry: we could come and get a meal whenever we wanted (of course, that bothered my pride dreadfully, even as I was grateful for the offer).
  • I would always find work: of that she had no doubt. “You would dig ditches if you had to and you know it,” she told me (that was true, but I was sincerely hoping I wouldn’t have to dig any ditches all the same).

Of course, within three or four months I did find a job – a very low-paying job – but it was enough to pay my bills and put food on the table for the next year. Most importantly, though, it gave me some much-needed self confidence. And I looked absolutely amazing: all the worry; all the sleepless nights; all the anxious nausea that kept me from eating much of anything at that time meant that I had shed 30 pounds as effortlessly as a person might shed a pair of jeans.

About a year later, the funding for the work I had been doing previously came through again and I was back to a much better salary for the next several years. As a contract employee, work would always be precarious, though, and I would always have to be careful about squirrelling money away for the long summer months when there was no contract funding. But I was managing, without needing meals at my best friend’s house (although she and her husband frequently invited me, just the same) and without having to dig ditches.

I knew I was really, really going to be okay the day I came home from the grocery store and hurried to put away my purchases. I opened the fridge door to put away some item and had to work for several minutes to make room on a shelf. The fridge was jam-packed with vegetables, snacks, juices, milk, left-overs and other goodies. There wasn’t an inch of available space. My eyes widened in amazement.

“I am SO rich!” I exclaimed aloud, to my empty kitchen.

It had taken a bit of time, but I was no longer feeling sorry for myself. On the contrary, I was feeling pride, gratitude and relief. I was going to be okay. No, I was going to be MORE than okay.

The really funny thing is that my personal income is far less today than it was back in those days. And strangely, I have never felt richer.

Mindset can change everything…

Patti Moore Wilson © wednesdayschildca.wordpress.com

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Author: Patti Moore Wilson, wednesdayschild2

I write what I feel. And I rarely know exactly what I feel until I write. I have lived long enough to have known many joys and many sorrows. I have made many mistakes; I have forgiven myself for a few… I have learned that there are lessons in every step of this journey, if we only take the time to pay attention… I hope you will feel free to pick and choose the stories that resonate for you…

25 thoughts on “Mindset Can Change Everything”

  1. This is absolutely true. I was in a slightly different position, but suddenly finding myself poor was THE worst thing I had ever had to go through in my life….or so I thought. Being poor IS a bitch, but losing my dad and one of my best friends shortly after the redundancy, was WAY worse, of course. I gave up many things that were costing us too much. I was on a very little wage (still am) and somehow I managed not to lose the house. Now that he’s working again (he was unemployed for two years) I find it hard to spend freely. I make food from scratch, always. I recycle everything. I do without things that other families would consider essential, but I consider a luxury, like Satellite television etc. Although I discovered how vile it is to be broke, being healthy and loved is far more important. Having NO money was horrendous, and despite feeling overwhelmed, desperate and upset a lot of the time, we got through it (I got through it!!) and I did because I remained positive. I feel very, very calm now. I can handle just about anything. x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow…I will start by saying how happy I am that you have found that calm…so very sorry you had to travel down such a rough road to get there though. And very, very, VERY glad you didn’t lose your house… It’s funny how many things we discover we really only WANT as opposed to ‘need’. And there are so many things we can buy – or trade for – second hand (way better for the environment too; just sayin’). I so enjoy your comments, your empathy and your complete understanding… Sending you love and hugs…xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said and and you can be proud of yourself!!… 🙂 thanks for sharing…. wealth does not always bring happiness, more often exactly the opposite… sometimes one needs to visit the “dark side” of life in order to better live in the light…

    “Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” Kevyn Aucoin

    Liked by 2 people

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