I Can Fly…

lucid_Dreaming

I read once that when we fly in our dreams, our soul has briefly left our sleeping bodies.

When I was a child, I used to dream that I was flying all the time. I generally have a hard time remembering my dreams, but I recall the first dream in which I was flying as though it were yesterday, even though it was almost fifty years ago. I was flying through my old neighbourhood – soaring, actually – sometimes high enough to see the houses and the trees from the perspective of a bird, but mostly only five feet off the ground, just revelling in the sensation of being completely free. I flew really fast; wherever I wanted to go. It was an unforgettable feeling.

I was joyful, free, unafraid…

As I got older, I would still dream that I could fly but only in dreams where I was frightened of someone. When the ‘bad guy’ was pursuing me in a dream, I would surge off into the air to escape; but I never had enough momentum to get very far or very high. And of course, whatever was pursuing me could always fly, too. I would feel them, at my heels, reaching and grabbing and trying to pull me back to earth. Often, I would wake with a start just as I felt their hands wrapping around my ankles. It was a singularly terrifying feeling. I could never get away.

I have always understood, even in my dreams, that it is vital that no one from the ‘real’ world down below ever see me fly. Even in my dreams, I – always the consummate people pleaser – have understood that being able to fly is something I should hide from the world. Even in my dreams, I have tried to blend in, or at the very least, not be seen.

The past few years have been challenging ones for me. I suffered an adrenal exhaustion three years ago and had to retire much earlier than I ever intended to. My husband and I left our adult children behind to fend (admirably) for themselves and moved back to our home province after being away for three and a half decades. We came into a very conservative community where I had to learn to be my true authentic self or just kill off my soul and sink into a deep depression (see: Is There Such a Thing as ‘Figuratively’ Coming Out of the Closet?). Ever since we arrived here, I have been facing my fears, one by one, and in the process finding a peace I never could have imagined possible.

Thankfully, as a result of my fears gradually falling by the wayside, the dreams where I have needed to fly away in order to escape have been happening with far less frequency than before.  But I haven’t dreamt of flying just to fly, either… how I have longed to feel the fearless freedom I felt in those long-ago childish dreams…

Until last night, that is.

I only ever recall the most elusive snippets from my dreams, but this I recalled with absolute clarity. In my dream, I was in a hurry to go somewhere and to get back as quickly as I could. The fastest, most efficient way to get there was to fly. I surged strongly through the air, letting my feet float behind me; using my arms to pull myself through the air in a strong, sure breaststroke. Although I was purposefully heading in a particular direction, I nonetheless noticed the movement below me: traffic; people walking to and fro; all going about their daily business.

I was joyful free, unafraid…

At one point, someone from below looked up and remarked with some wonder at how powerfully I was flying. Another person I knew called out, and asked if I could show her that efficient arm stroke. I called back that of course I would, but right at the moment, I was in a bit of a hurry. I told her I would catch up with her later.

I woke up late this morning and a bit confused. My dog was curled up at my feet and I sleepily snuggled with him for a few minutes until we were playfully wrestling and I was ready to get up. I went downstairs, poured myself a big mug of coffee, made my breakfast and sat down to eat and check my messages. I had been up for a few hours before it hit me. Hard.

I had been flying. In front of everyone. I hadn’t been afraid of what people would think.

And they all wanted to come flying too…

Source of photo

Patti Moore Wilson/ © wednesdayschildca.wordpress.com

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Author: Patti Moore Wilson, wednesdayschild2

I write what I feel. And I rarely know exactly what I feel until I write. I have lived long enough to have known many joys and many sorrows. I have made many mistakes; I have forgiven myself for a few… I have learned that there are lessons in every step of this journey, if we only take the time to pay attention… I hope you will feel free to pick and choose the stories that resonate for you…

13 thoughts on “I Can Fly…”

  1. It’s nice that you can control your bad dreams to the point where you can get away from trouble. Some people dream that they cannot move or cannot move fast enough to get away…

    When I dream that I’ve been flying, I usually wake up on the lawn.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing your adventure… “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right”. Mary Kay Ash … you were being you, a free spirit, following your dreams “The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” – Joel Brown…. 🙂

    “Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.” B. R. Ambedkar

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My, my… Firstly I’m really jealous of you for being able to have “flying” dreams as a regular occurrence! The only dreams I ever manage to fly in are lucid ones, and it’s always briefly, even lucid I have a hard time leaving the ground.
    I think you already interpreted this one very well (you know yourself best after all, I think no one knows better than you what your dream was about) If you still want to hear my point of view… I think you are crossing the line (in a good way) where you are not only unashamed of your ability to think out of the box (fly) but also emitting a heat that attracts others and makes them admire your way of thinking, of dealing with things, wishing they could do the same.
    But again, this was probably just a narration of what you yourself already realized, judging from your text… Thanks for sharing this with me, I would have missed it otherwise… please do so again next time ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow…you nailed it…😳👏 Not sure if you have heard of the three stages of womanhood; maiden, mother, crone. I have DEFINITELY reached the crone stage and it is unbelievably powerful and wonderful to finally be coming into my own. So glad that you ‘get’ it… And please: do let ME know if you have written a post you think I might enjoy reading and commenting on. I miss things, too. xoxo 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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