Part Two: The Sponsor

It took me nearly six decades – and one very major epiphany – to find my voice. To fully understand why I have always had such a hard time communicating my feelings, wants and needs. To completely digest that my people-pleasing personality had been affecting my every thought; my every move; my entire life. The day I finally had a name for my own personal nemesis; codependency; I was determined to overcome it once and for all, or die trying.

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Part One: The Epiphany

Source of image: Pinterest

I was that blessing to every parent everywhere: the obedient child. I did as I was told. I never questioned authority. I dutifully respected my elders. I spoke when invited to speak and I kept my mouth firmly shut the rest of the time. I went to bed when I was sent to bed – hours before I was ready – without so much as a murmur of protest. I could enter a room without making so much as a wave.

Bad Temper

Source of photo: Calm Sage

I come from a long line of folks with truly awful tempers. I’m not sure if it’s a genetic thing, a hormonal thing, generational trauma or simply really bad karma, but on every side of my family tree, a number of my family members are known for flying off the handle.

The Miscellaneous Things We Are Good At

Source of photo: Alcoholics Anonymous

Many years ago, I was a conference in Montreal for literacy teachers and their adult students. During the day, we attended workshops, had lunch together and discussed the many things we were learning, over coffee break. Evenings were free. In a city like Montreal, there was no lack of things to do and places to go. One evening, I ended up with several other conference-goers in a well-known smoked-meat restaurant. We had just finished a delicious meal and were lined up at the cash register to pay when I spotted a friend and colleague – a young teacher – having what was clearly an argument on the sidewalk outside with one of her teenaged students. A tall and physically-imposing young man, he stood head and shoulders over his tiny little teacher. Even under the light of a streetlamp, I could see that she looked frightened and way out of her element.

Fight, Flight or Freeze?

Source of photo

The world isn’t really built around the introverts.

We are quiet; we are shy. We think deeply but our thoughts rarely make their way unscathed, to our mouths. By the time it is our turn to speak, we have broken out into a cold sweat and everything we intended to say has come stuttering and stumbling from a tongue that has suddenly grown two sizes and is impossible not to trip over.

They don’t call it ‘tongue-tied’ for nothing.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Pandemic Clean-Up: Post 2

I think I have known that I wanted to be a writer since I was in Grade 2.

Letter to a Pedophile

Trigger alert: this post is about child sexual abuse

Um, before you rape that little boy, could I have a moment of your time?

Where Does Anger Go?

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

Sir Isaac Newton

I was a serious and earnest student in school, intent on doing well and staying – just barely – on the honour roll. English was my favourite subject; math, physics and chemistry were my nemesis. And yet, the above phrase, Newton’s Third Law (yes, I had to look it up), has stayed with me.

Feeling Better

It has been a long time since I felt well; years now, since I retired early because my body simply stopped functioning as it should. I look back at the days when I woke at 5:30 a.m. and tumbled into bed at 11:30 p.m. or so and I marvel at how I just … kept going… for such a long time.

I Guess That Doesn’t Define Me Anymore

Lately I have become a little fascinated with the scarring process. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that the innumerable little cuts and burns I get