What Do You Do, All Day?

Source of photo: enkiquotes

I envy my friends and family who have boundless, inexhaustible energy. You know the type: they’re up at the crack of dawn, unable to stay in bed because they simply cannot wait another moment to start their day. They go for a run before breakfast; they stop on their way to work to run a few errands; they work late and still manage to throw a little get-together that evening for friends – with food they cooked themselves. They volunteer for at least a dozen organisations. They have time-consuming hobbies that require gobs of energy to complete. They’re the ones who throw wonderful surprise parties; who cook up a meal for you when you’re sick; who always seem to have time for, well, anybody who asks.

They live life with gusto. They suck every drop of marrow from the bones of life.

The people with limitless energy never really ‘get’ those of us whose gas tanks are permanently at the quarter-tank mark. I’ll bet you know that type too: we’re the ones who fake it as best we can: we work the crazy hours; we do our best to make every second count; we show up for the social gatherings that suck the very life out of us; we say ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’ when we are asked to volunteer for the latest cause our energetic friends are into.

We get sick. A lot.

And we hide from the world. A lot…

My daughter was lucky to have me as her mother when it comes to understanding the limited-energy person. In my early days of being a single Mom, life was overwhelming and I had to be super organised to pull it off: get up, showered and dressed; get the kids up and dressed; make breakfast; get the kids’ coats on and herd them into the car; drop them off at school; go to work; run errands at lunchtime; go back to work; pick the kids up after school, make supper; oversee homework, read and sign papers from school; carve out one-on-one time with each of the kids; read a bedtime story together, tuck the kids in (stories-when-was-little for one; songs for the other); lay out everyone’s clothes for next day, insert notes for teachers in bookbags; prepare lunches; do the dishes; catch up on laundry; tidy the house and…sleep.

I had to become a bit of a drill sergeant – completely against my nature – to pull it all off.

One evening as I threw supper together and barked orders at the kids about getting started on their homework – like, now – my quiet, introverted daughter had a meltdown. I found her crying in her bedroom. When I asked what was wrong, she looked up at me imploringly, with those impossibly big, brown eyes and cried:

“I don’t wanna do my homework as soon as we get home, Mom! I need time to ‘fink about ‘fings first.”

After my burnout, I finally had no choice but to slow down. I burned the candle down to a nub and it doesn’t look like it will ever come back. I have finally learned to say ‘no’. I have finally learned to have a snooze every. single. day. without feeling guilty about it. I have narrowed down my priorities to family: if there is anything left over after that, then and only then will I commit to anything else.

But I still dread that question from my more energetic friends: “But… what do you do all day?

I see the doubtful look they often give me; I know that they cannot conceive of a life so boring; so lackluster.

And I want to respond: “Well, I read. And I write. And I snooze.

But most of all: I ‘fink about ‘fings.”

Patti Moore Wilson © wednesdayschildca.wordpress.com

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